A One Mann’s Movies review of “Freelance” (2024).
“Freelance”, currently streaming on Prime Video, sets an early bar for the most brainless bit of movie nonsense in 2024. I don’t mind fantasy adventure films… but grounding them even vaguely in common sense is a pre-requisite for me.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Mason Pettits (John Cena) is unhappy in his life. He is ex-special forces; his work as a lawyer bores him and his marriage to Jenny (Alice Eve) is heading for the rocks. Wooed by his ex-colleague Sebastian Earle (Christian Slater), he takes a lucrative job. This is to babysit a US reporter, Claire Wellington (Alison Brie) going to a Latin American country of Paldonia. She’s there to do the first ever interview with its charismatic but vicious president (Juan Pablo Raba). What cold possibly go wrong?
Certification:
UK: 15; US: R. (From the BBFC web site: “Strong bloody violence, language.”).
Talent:
Starring: John Cena, Alison Brie, Christian Slater, Juan Pablo Raba, Alice Eve, Marton Csokas.
Directed by: Pierre Morel.
Written by: Jacob Lentz
Twitter Handle: #FreelanceMovie.
Running Time: 1h 48m.
Mason (John Cena), President Venegas (Juan Pablo Raba) and Claire (Alison Brie) in the palace shoot-out finale. (Source: Signature Entertainment)
“Freelance” Review:
Positives:
- If you CAN park your brain at the door, this is mindless escapism, with the emphasis on the “mindless”. It generates vibes of the jungle antics of Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner all those years ago in “Romancing the Stone”.
Negatives:
- Most of the action makes NO sense at all. There are two particular scenes I would like to rant about.
- There’s a scene where Mason and Claire are being pursued by both a heavily armed helicopter and two machine-gun-packing henchmen, who are very close on their heels. Despite being a highly-trained operative, Mason decides to leave the relative safety of the jungle and wade across a deep and wide river. (This seems to be primarily so that the shapely Ms Brie can get her thin white blouse nicely wet and see-through). The helicopter only seems able to attack the duo by doing ‘bombing runs’ over them (with missiles, bombs and machine guns, all miraculously missing the sitting ducks!). This seems to be the only helicopter in aviation history that isn’t able to hover: “JUST HOVER OVER THEM AND SHOOT THEM!!!” I was yelling at the TV. But no. And where were the two heavily armed henchmen while Mason spends 5 minutes dispatching the helicopter to a fiery grave? They were, after all, only about a 100 yards behind them as they left the forest! Oh…. they must have stopped for a coffee and a Kit-Kat, since they only appear when Mason and Claire are safely on the other side of the river and disappearing into the (machine gun proof) reeds on the other side.
- There’s a scene where Mason is being Roy Rodgers and gallops up to the President in the middle of a street, gets him onto the horse and gallops off. All of this is happening while the chief South African baddie, Colonel Jan Koehorst (Marton Csokas), is firing at them from a short distance away, together with two machine-gun-toting henchmen also firing dozens of rounds per second. Not even the horse gets hit!!
- Alison Brie (who for me is the spitting image of a younger Natalie Imbruglia, and there’s NOTHING wrong with that!) seems to waste no time in stripping off at every opportunity. A post shower scene has her barely covering her essentials with her hands and this leads into multiple gratuitous shots of skin as Claire tries to seduce Mason. Brie is a shapely lady and lovers of beautiful bodies will appreciate the scenes, but it did feel rather gratuitous.
Upping the skin count – with Alison Brie and John Cena. (Source: Signature Entertainment).
Summary Thoughts on “Freelance”
Although directed by Pierre Morel, the director of “Taken”, this is utter hokum. Find “Romancing the Stone” or “Jewel of the Nile” and watch them again instead.
This film seems to have generated derision from most critics (me included) but a wide range of different ratings from viewers. What did you think? Please add your comments!
[fblike]
Trailer for “Freelance”:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrqWlOzm2Iw .
Subscribe
Don’t forget, you can subscribe to One Mann’s Movies to receive future reviews by email right here. No salesman will call!
