A One Mann’s Movies review of “Firestarter” (2022).
One of the advantages of a holiday flight to Australia is that you can get to catch up on a selection of movies that you missed at the cinema. “Firestarter” was one, though to be honest, I didn’t miss much. For this is a rather poor effort from the normally reliable Blumhouse horror stable.
Bob the Movie Man Rating(s):
Plot Summary:
Andy (Zac Efron) and Vicky (Sydney Lemmon) were subject to genetic experiments by a US agency in their teens giving them special powers. Now a couple, the McGee’s have a daughter, Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) who, for obvious reasons, they want to keep hidden from the authorities.
Certification:
Talent:
Starring: Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Michael Greyeyes, Gloria Reuben.
Directed by: Keith Thomas.
Written by: Scott Teems, based on the book by Stephen King.
Twitter Handles: #Firestartermov.
“Firestarter” Review:
Positives:
- The opening ‘nursery’ scene is very effective and incorrectly set my expectations for the film!
- I doubt Zac Efron will ever be up for a Best Actor nomination, but he does pretty well here with what he’s given. The young Armstrong girl also does well and that “look” during the fire-starting activity (and indeed on the poster) is the best thing in the film.
Negatives
- It’s going some to make a dull film from a Stephen King novel, but this somehow manages it. The film plods along in pedestrian style and even highly dramatic scenes (for which the daughter will need a lifetime of counselling) failed to either excite or move me. And the finale! A genuine “IS THAT IT?” moment as the titles rolled.
- Some of the dialogue here is atrocious in a mansplaining sort of way. In particular, exchanges between ‘bad CIA person’ Captain Hollister (Gloria Reuben) and dodgy scientist Dr Wanless (Kurtwood Smith) sound like a bad Austin Powers parody and had me rolling my eyes.
Trigger Warning
Cat lovers might want to give this one a miss.
Summary Thoughts on “Firestarter”:
Lame, shallow and unthrilling action horror. It’s pretty amazing that this (just) made its $12m budget back. I think they have a lot to thank Ms. Armstrong and that poster for.
Trailer for “Firestarter”:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VWgM_SKkrY .
