A One Mann’s Movies review of “Uncharted” (2022).
I knew going into this one that it was associated with those dreaded words “based on a video game”. So my expectations for “Uncharted” were not high! But – hey – it seemed to sport a better cast than the norm, so I thought I’d give it a go.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) is a thief-cum-cocktail bar waiter living off his wits. He teams with treasure-hunter Victor ‘Sully’ Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg) who is seeking the lost gold of Magellan’s ships, missing for 500 years. But the alleged rightful owner (by birthright) of the gold, Santiago Moncada (Antonio Banderas), is also on the same track, together with his team of heavies, led by the vicious Braddock (Tati Gabrielle).
Certification:
Talent:
Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Antonio Banderas, Sophia Ali, Tati Gabrielle.
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer.
Written by: Rafe Judkins, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway. (Based on a story by Rafe Judkins, Jon Hanley Rosenberg and Mark D. Walker).
Uncharted Review:
Positives:
- It’s a rollicking “Indiana Jones”-style adventure. A 12 year old would probably love it!
- Antonio Banderas oozes quality, even though he has little more than an extended cameo in the film.
Negatives:
- This probably looked good on paper. But unfortunately Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg have virtually no chemistry together. It’s supposed to be all ‘quips and japes’, but it comes over just dull and lacklustre. Even the inclusion of Sophia Ali as collaborator Chloe, who I thought was the most interesting character in the film, doesn’t spark anything. A bit of sex between Chloe and Nathan might have spiced the movie up a bit. But, even though they share a room, nothing is implied!
- As a BAFTA “Rising Star”, Tom Holland really deserves better than this to progress his career. His acrobatic antics and semi-apologetic line-delivery are almost a retread of Spidey, but without the suit.
- “Zombieland” and “Venom” director Ruben Fleischer seems to think the attention span of his audience is so short* he has to pique their interest by shifting one of the (literal) high-spots of the movie (the cargo plane “Living Daylights” rip-off) to the pre-title sequence. The problem with this approach is that when you get to that bit in the main film, it’s all a bit “yawn, seen that, move along”.
- This is yet another movie where the “good guys” are crooks, which never makes me entirely comfortable. In “Oceans 11”, Clooney’s Danny Ocean went to prison. There seems to be nothing but upside for our heroes in this case.
- I would like to make a legal challenge as to the authenticity of the lifting weight achieved by those helicopters!
* I’m not necessarily suggesting this is wrong!
Monkeys
There is a monkey immediately at the start of the titles (the contents of which will shock and surprise noone!). But if you’re wondering where the “moustache/puberty” bit is from the trailer, it’s in the mid-title monkey. Whether this teaser for a sequel (which I guess will be called “Uncharted 2: Among Thieves” to match the video game sequel) materialises will no doubt depend on the success of this first film. At the time of writing, “Uncharted” has only taken $21 million on a budget of $120 million, so that might require some optimism.
By the way, I didn’t stay through the scrolling titles to see if there was a post-title monkey.
Summary Thoughts on “Uncharted”
As a movie, it’s “mostly harmless”. But it’s also bland and unmemorable. We’ve seen this caper done many times before, and better. Movies like this really shouldn’t quote other movies (e.g. Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Carribean, …) – they really make you compare and contrast… and (particularly in this case) not in a good way!
Trailer for “Uncharted”
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wCH1K-ckZw . Just about every money shot and plot point in the film is included in the trailer. If you’d rather not see the film, just stay at home and watch the trailer instead!
