A One Mann’s Movies review of “Tarot” (2024).
The new horror film “Tarot” looked from the trailer like a paint-by-numbers teen slasher. And so it turned out to be.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Seven college students rent an AirBnB of a spooky mansion and find a collection of astrological artifacts in the cellar including an ancient set of hand-painted tarot cards. Haley (Harriet Slater) reads horoscopes but refuses to break the golden rule of using someone else’s tarot cards… until she does. Horror then awaits them.
Certification:
UK: 15; US: PG-13. (From the BBFC web site: “Strong threat, violence, bloody images”).
Talent:
Starring: Harriet Slater, Avantika, Jacob Batalon, Humberly González, Adain Bradley, Larsen Thompson, Wolfgang Novogratz, Olwen Fouéré.
Directed by: Spenser Cohen & Anna Halberg.
Written by: Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg & Nicholas Adams.
Twitter Handle: #TarotMovie.
Running Time: 1h 32m.
“Tarot” Summary:
Positives:
- Who doesn’t like teens meeting their Final Destination? A couple of the kills are entertaining enough.
- Jacob Batalon – the most recognisable name in the cast – provides some fun schtick.
Negatives:
- Run-of-the-mill teen slasher movie.
- Jump scares that you can see coming for miles.
Review of “Tarot”:
Don’t Play the Game!
We’ve been here so many times before: a bunch of teens stir up some local forces and face being sequentially butchered by dark forces. None of it is original in the slightest. I’ll give the writers credit that they at least provide a camp-fire scene to allow us to get to know the ‘menu’ a bit. But then we descend into pretty generic hokum. Most of the time the jump scares are very well-signposted… probably why the film is only a (generous, I should say) PG-13 in the States rather than an R.
Kills Innovation Index = 5/10
As with many similar films (e.g. in the last year, “Bodies, Bodies, Bodies“, “The Blackening” and more historically, the endless “Final Destination” films) the only variable is the innovative way that each of the teenage kills will take place. Here, only a few of the victims meet memorable deaths, with that of Paige (Avantika) being the most memorably yucky. The attack on Paxton (Jacob Batalon) is also quite well done, thanks here to Batalon’s superior acting.
If in doubt, bolt on a witch
At one point Haley says “I think you’re trying to make sense of something and there’s no sense” and I went “Yup!”. We do get a bolted on flashback to the 14th century for some royal wronging of a mother and daughter and a revenge plot. But it seems to be there largely to nudge the film over the 90 minute mark.
Monkey?
There is no “monkey” during or after the credits. You’re welcome.
Summary Thoughts on “Tarot”
Instantly forgettable horror offering that only very occasionally moved my suspense needle a fraction. It’s certainly not the worse film of the genre that I’ve seen (and there’s no doubting the enthusiasm of the young cast). But, even if you are into teen-slasher pics, this is still a ‘wait to catch on streaming’ type of film and not worthy of your ciema dollar.
Where to Watch it (Powered by Justwatch)
Trailer for “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes”:
The Netflix trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvDArsKoTOE .
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