A One Mann’s Movies review of “Red One” (2024).
According to IMDB, they went and spent $350 million making “Red One”. Allegedly, Dwayne Johnson pocketed a cool $50 million for his appearance.
Just let those numbers sink in for a minute.
At the time of writing, it’s made just $117 million worldwide. Not a number that I suspect Mr Kasdan will be putting on his CV anytime soon.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
“Red One” Plot Summary:
Computer hacker and Level 4 Naughty-Lister Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) has hacked into a secret government system that has revealed the location of Santa’s base at the North Pole. As a result, Santa has been kidnapped two days before Christmas Eve and everyone’s Christmas is at risk. Santa’s head of security Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) is on the case.
Certification:
UK: 12A; US: PG-13. (From the BBFC web site: “Moderate violence, implied strong language”)
Talent:
Starring: Chris Evans, Dwayne Johnson, Lucy Liu, J.K. Simmons, Bonnie Hunt, Kristofer Hivju, Kiernan Shipka.
Directed by: Jake Kasdan.
Written by: Chris Morgan & Hiram Garcia.
Running Time: 2h 3m.
“Red One” Summary:
Positives:
- It’s a film that adults and older children can go and see together…. there are few of those around.
Negatives:
- A script that’s short on the expected laughs.
- Santa and the US Government in collusion?
- A film for kids that is too violent and too sweary..
Review of “Red One”:
Short on laughs.
As I commented on BBC Radio Solent a few weeks ago, I had high hopes for this one. Jake Kasdan was the name behind the hugely enjoyable “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (as a regular re-watch favourite, I can’t believe I only gave it 3.5 stars!!) and the slightly less innovative “Jumanji: The Next Level“. But sadly, this one, with a different set of writers and unlike Santa’s sleigh, fails to launch. There are just so few funny lines in it. Yes, I smiled and even chuckled a few times but only laughed once: Drift’s magic zapper can zap a toy sports car into the real thing and O’Malley questions if it would work the same on a Wonder Woman doll. (The writers clearly thought the joke was one of the few good ones as they try to flog it twice).
Set piece to set piece.
The script is a soul-less affair. The story flip-flops from set-piece to set-piece. At the start, Santa is scoping out the ungrateful kids of North America with the US government seemingly complicit in getting Santa undercover from a toy store in Philadelphia back to the North Pole. (That’s never been a factor in any of the Father Christmas films to date and seems very weird!) We jump to a Caribbean beach fighting snowmen, as you do, for little comprehensible reason. We zap across to Germany for a poor segment bashing heads with Santa’s step-brother Krampus (Kristofer Hivju) (who then – completely incomprehensibly – comes to help in the finale). It’s all a bit chaotic and random.
So, who was it written for?
Given much of the material is so tame and it concerns a fantastical Santa-based story, this is a film that would have fitted perfectly into the demographic for kids aged 6 to 10. (And films like that have been packing out cinemas during the year.)
However, the filmmakers have put some scenes of violence and enough swearing into the script that it has received a 12A certificate from the BBFC. I would probably only consider taking my 10 year old grandson along to see this one… none of the younger ones.
It’s all so unnecessary. And you get the feeling that even this cut is watered down. There is a scene where Chris Evans first sees Callum Drift’s ‘polar bear heavy’ and falls backwards saying “What the hell”…. but the lip-synch of Evans seems to imply something different was actually said.
As it’s audience is so limited, it really doesn’t surprise me that it is struggling at the box office.
Summary Thoughts on “Red One”
A disappointing Christmas film that throws a huge amount of money at a wall for astonishingly little value. One to avoid.
Where to Watch it (Powered by Justwatch)
Trailer for “Red One”:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pIxnwkRvWs.
Subscribe
Don’t forget, you can subscribe to One Mann’s Movies to receive future reviews by email right here. No salesman will call!
