A One Mann’s Movies review of “Portraits of Dangerous Women” (2024).
“Portraits of Dangerous Women”, coming to UK cinemas on October 11th, falls into that category of British comedy films that the late Douglas Adams would probably have described as “Mostly Harmless”.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
A father and daughter, Jon (Mark Lewis Jones) and Steph (Jeany Spark), cross paths with a school caretaker, Tina (Tara Fitzgerald) and a cocky young entrepreneur, Ashley (Yasmin Monet Prince) following an accident involving a dog on a country road. Their lives intertwine and friendships develop.
Certification:
UK: 15; US: NR. (From the BBFC Web site: “Strong Language”.)
Talent:
Starring: Tara Fitzgerald, Jeany Spark, Yasmin Monet Prince, Mark Lewis Jones, Annette Badland, Abigail Cruttenden, David Mumeni, Abigail Cruttenden).
Directed by: Pascal Bergamin.
Written by: Pascal Bergamin & Stephan Teuwissen.
Running Time: 1h 33m.
“Portraits of Dangerous Women” Summary:
Positives:
- Gentle storytelling with some smile-worthy lines.
- Top acting credit goes to Mark Lewis Jones who is disarmingly natural as the small-town art dealer.
Negatives:
- Some of the scripting feels artificial and forced and sometimes not delivered with conviction by the actors.
- Some of the actions of individuals are frankly bizarre and not true to life.
Review of “Portraits of Dangerous Women”:
Some good lines.
This is a British situational comedy that lopes along in perfectly pleasant fashion without setting the screen on fire. Steph certainly is a ‘dangerous woman’ as she sets a terrible example for country driving and an accident seems inevitable (don’t worry dog lovers, you never see the dog, alive or dead). But the film does have some comic moments and good lines. I particularly liked when Jon and Tina are struggling to pick up the dead animal and put it in Tina’s car boot… only to find she had her Waitrose shop in there already. “We’d better put the shopping in the front” comments Jon dryly.
Later in the film, Tina acquires a cat called Sheba from the pet shop, after flirting outrageously with the dishy assistant Steve (David Mumeni). It is no coincidence that the strange looking ginger moggy looks strikingly like her husband Paul (Gary Shelford). Sheba snores; Paul snores. Sheba gets returned to the shop (an opportunity for some very public sex*); Paul equally gets the boot.
(* I’m not sure that this act of adultery will sit well with the typical ‘British comedy’ older audience. I can see the illustrious Mrs Movie Man, for example, getting very turned off the film by this. In addition, it seems pretty superfluous to the plot.)
Dialogue that often feels unnatural
Sadly, the script spouts dialogue that often feels forced and unnatural. Conversations in cars feel like they have been ‘written’. In some cases, this is down to the words. In others it is in the way that they are delivered, with Yasmin Monet Prince in particularly being a bit mannered.
Top acting honours for me went to Mark Lewis Jones, who crops up in a lot of things and was at least pleasant and natural. It was also good to see Tara Fitzgerald on the big screen again.
Actions and Situations that feel unnatural
Similarly, the script is full of actions and situations that made me say “Well, that would never happen!”. (I know, its a comedy, but every thought like that will take me more out of the film).
One example is that every ring on the door by a stranger results in them immediately being invited in and served up with tea and cakes! Like, EVERY time! Have these old ladies not got any sense of personal safety??
In another scene, the protagonists drive up in separate cars to a remote roadside cafe and then proceed to demolish at least two full bottles of Grappa! In general, this is an awful advertisement for sensible and legal driving. Jon’s sister Cathryn (Abigail Cruttenden) is a police officer yet downs a huge glass of wine. When questioned by Jon she quips “Oh, it’s OK… it’s quiet out there tonight!”
And who in their right minds runs over a dog and then takes it on themselves to bury the body in a wood? Like really? Why do they not report it to the police? And then take the body to a vets for chip-tracking and disposal? Sorry, but the whole central premise of the film doesn’t make sense to me.
Summary Thoughts on “Portraits of Dangerous Women”
This is a perfectly pleasant movie. A few smiles and even a couple of chuckles. But it’s not a comedy that I will remember in a month or two’s time.
(My thanks to Strike Media for the invite to the London screening.)
Where to Watch it (Powered by Justwatch)
Trailer for “Portraits of Dangerous Women”:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEyW-9bsjog .
Subscribe
Don’t forget, you can subscribe to One Mann’s Movies to receive future reviews by email right here. No salesman will call!
