A One Mann’s Movies review of “Last Christmas” (2019).
Bob the Movie Man’s Rating:
Certification:
US: PG-13. UK: 12.
Oh Dear! Now I wouldn’t go as far as saying I had “high hopes” for this film, but as a real fan of the goo-fest that is “Love Actually” I at least thought this might fill some seasonal void in the run up to the festive season. “Best Christmas film of the decade!!” screams the marketing. Er… no.
This review will be spoiler free.
The plot.
Kate (Emilia Clarke) is an immigrant from the former-Yugoslavia now living in London. She has a dead-end job working for “Santa” (Michelle Yeoh) in a Christmas shop in Covent Garden. She is perennially lubricated both with drink and other bodily fluids thanks to her hedonistic lifestyle. And she really likes George Michael.
But life just seems vacuous and to have no purpose for her anymore. Her composure is not helped by her mother (Emma Thompson) constantly fussing about her health, since Kate has only recently recovered from a serious illness.
Dropping into her life then comes Tom (Henry Golding). Smartly dressed and calmly reassuring, Tom seems to have the potential to start turning Kate’s life around. But is she prepared to listen?
As Tom keeps saying… “look up”. And she did. (Source: Universal International Pictures)
Fleabag Rebooted.
There are startling similarities here with Phoebe Waller-Bridge‘s triumphant tribute to hedonistic 30-something sex-addicted females everywhere…. “Fleabag”. Kate is similarly louche, hopping from bed to bed in a heartbeat. She has a dysfunctional family and – most strikingly – she has a particularly difficult relationship with her high-achieving sister. This is not helped by a remarkable similarity between the actress playing Marta (Lydia Leonard ) and Fleabag’s Clare (Sian Clifford).
Sian Clifford (left) and Lydia Leonard (right)…. see what I mean?
But whereas Fleabag is both brilliantly written, heart-rending and hilarious, this simply is not.
Two laughs.
There were a total of two laughs in the movie for me. Period. Both were lines delivered by Emma Thompson, and if you’ve seen the film you probably know the ones. Now, I’m aware that Thompson co-wrote the script and she is, of course, a national acting treasure. But here the script is clunky and all of the “comic” scenes are so laboured and forced that they land like leaden weights.
And some of it makes no sense whatsoever. There is some strange Danish sauerkraut salesman (Peter Mygind) with a crush on “Santa”. He suddenly appears in the shop acting like some escaped mental patient. When he first appears, acting bizarrely, you think, “oh, there must be some fascinating backstory between these two – a murky past they are trying to rekindle”. But no! This is the first time they have EVER met? It’s completely bonkers!
Much was made of this being Michelle Yeoh‘s “first comedy”. Sorry, but if she proves anything here it is that she is not a comic actress.
Comedy? No – not really. (Source: Universal International Pictures) .
A cute central pair struggling with dodgy material
Emilia Clarke is still looking to land in a decent mainstream role outside “Game of Thrones”, after a failed Terminator sequel, a half-decent weepie (“Me Before You“) and the commercial failure that was “Solo“. Here she certainly looks curvaciously cute as the Christmas elf. But unfortunately cute can’t save her from the car-crash of a script.
Similarly Henry Golding is well-dressed eye-candy for the ladies, almost doing a re-tread of his cool and laid-back character from the excellent “Crazy Rich Asians“. Without the same need to be “zany”, he fairs slightly better from the script. But again, this feels like one to shuffle into a quiet corner of his CV.
Slavic interplay. Emilia Clarke and Emma Thompson. (Source: Universal International Pictures)
What can I say that’s even remotely good about this?
There must be some positives here… THINK man, THINK…..
- London. It looks glorious, decked out in lights like some chocolate-box-cover cum tourist-board publicity shot. London is one of the most photogenic cities on the planet, and I could relate to Tom’s mantra to “look up” and see all of the architectural quirks and foibles that exist around every corner in that wonderful city;
- The payoff. Exactly when you get the payoff will depend on how much you know going in (if you’ve managed to avoid the trailer… continue to avoid it!) and how attentive you are. There’s an “aha!” moment. And it’s nicely played out.
- There’s a topical xenophobic Brexit angle, that’s a little clumsy in the exposition but – in my view – is good for the telling.
Nothing like having a heart-to-heart when you’re feeling a bit glum. (Source: Universal International Pictures)
Not Love Actually.
This is a movie desperately trying to blend “Love Actually” with another Christmas classic (no… not “Die Hard”… but to say more would introduce spoilers!)
But in my view it misses badly.
The director is Paul Feig, famous for “Bridesmaids” and “Spy” and infamous for the female “Ghostbusters” reboot.
There are clearly lovers of this film. At the time of writing it has made an impressive $51M on its $25M budget. But I went with another three cinema-goers from my family, all of differing ages and sentiments: and we all universally agreed on the rating for this one.
Trailer:
The trailer is here – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9CEIcmWmtA. Spoiler-wise there is a word associated with this, and the word is AVOID!
