A One Mann’s Movies review of “Gemini Man” (2019).
From the trailer, this looked like it could be half decent. Ang Lee directing? Check. Will Smith (x2) in the driving seat? Check.
But, oh dear….
Bob the Movie Man’s Rating:
Certification:
US: PG-13. UK: 12.
Retiring or being retired?
Will Smith plays top US hit-man Henry Brogan who is making the world “safer” one bullet at a time! With the mirror telling him his age, Henry hands in his firearm (not withstanding the arsenal under his stairs) to spend more time going fishing and doing the crossword.
But all is not well when Henry’s ‘one for the road’ hit turns out to not be quite what it seems.
Teaming up with marina manager Danny (Danny??) Zakarweski (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), the pair go on the run from operatives of a government-funded black-ops organization called Gemini. Gemini is a private semi-military organization (didn’t we just go here with “Angel Has Fallen“?!). These ‘baddie goodies’ would rather see Henry – and all who know him – fed to the fishes rather than have him catching them.
But one of these guys, under the direct command of Gemini-boss Clay Verris (Clive Owen), looks kinda familiar…
That tricky birds and the bees chat. ‘Dad’ (Clive Owen) with ‘Junior’ (Will Smith). (Source: Paramount Pictures).
Let’s focus on the positives for a minute.
This is a spy movie that has all of the polish that the recent “Angel has Fallen” didn’t have. Some nice photogenic locations fly in and out again (Georgia, Budapest and Colombia: the latter for no obvious reason I can remember!). It occasionally reminded me of a glossy Bond film, but without Bond.
There are also some high-class special effects (the special effects coordinator is Mark Hawker). A moonlit CGI Gulfstream with a zoom into the cockpit is particularly impressive.
Some of the action set pieces also entertain. A Will-on-Will bike chase is well done, and I’ve not seen a bike used as a hand-to-hand weapon in this way before!
One of the film’s high water marks. An exciting bike chase in Colombia. (Source: Paramount Pictures).
And Will Smith is no doubt a class act, with his ‘youngification’ (I’m not sure what the official word is) also being effectively done. I also enjoyed Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who was great in “10 Cloverfield Lane“. The lady has real screen presence.
Hail Caesar! Some clever tech is better than any LA plastic surgeon. (Source: Paramount Pictures).
But man oh man, that script.
Let’s name the guilty parties in this film: the scriptwriters David Benioff (Game of Thrones), Darren Lemke and Billy Ray. (I’ll put Ray last in the list, since the story was by Benioff and Lemke and this has the smell to me of Ray – who has a history of some great scripts like Captain Phillips under his name – being drafted in to steady a listing ship).
Some of the dialogue in this film is not just a bit dodgy. It’s head in the hands groan-worthy (and I actually did at times: fortunately the cinema was barely half full and I was on my own in the whole row). And some of it is just plain offensive. Henry meets his old pal Jack Willis (Douglas Hodge) on his yacht where he explains his wife is on a trip to Paris as a scantily clad dolly-bird wanders past. Henry comically rolls his eyes at this adulterous behaviour, with some sort of “Jack, what are you loike!” comment. Cringe-worthy.
Will Smith, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Benedict Wong (their ally, adding some comic relief) are clearly good actors. But the script often makes them look utterly vacuous and stupid. And Lee seems to have a “good enough, move on” approach to the filming. One jaw-dropping moment has Will Smith telling the others that they are going to Budapest. “Budapest?” Winstead and Wong are supposed to say in union, but mistime it. “Can we do that again?”. Nope. It’s on the screen.
As for Clive Owen… sorry, he’s really not in the same acting league, and the script does him even fewer favours. As he says at one point “It’s like the Hindenburg crashing into the Titanic”. I couldn’t have put it better myself.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Will Smith and Benedict Wong starring in High Noon Part 2. (Source: Paramount Pictures).
Uncanny Valley.
You know this phrase. The Princess Leia and Moff Tarkin scenes in “Rogue One” is the classic example. Effects that don’t quite work on the big screen. “But” – you say to yourself – “Dr Bob just said that the ‘youngification’ of Will Smith was done really well?”. And I’ll repeat again that it was. It’s on a par with Samuel L. Jackson‘s ‘youngification’ in “Captain Marvel“. Where something strange happens is in the film’s overall projection. Ang Lee has tried again with his experiment of filming at a massive 120 frames per second….. five times the normal movie frame rate of 24 fps. And the quality of the picture – particularly during high-speed action scenes – becomes outstandingly good! But equally it just doesn’t ‘look right’.
When the human eye presumably works at an equivalent “fps” of thousands of ‘frames per second’ you’d think that it should all be fine. But for some reason I just found it distracting. Presumably the audiences for “The Jazz Singer” thought the same about sound; and those for “Gone with the Wind” and the “Wizard of Oz” about colour. Maybe we’ve seen the future, and its the new norm that we just need to get used to. We’ll see.
Will Smith with Mary Elizabeth Winstead, looking in this still for all the world like Maggie Gyllenhaal! (Source: Paramount Pictures).
Putting the Ang in Angst.
Ang Lee‘s “Life of Pi” was extraordinary. His “Hulk” was one of the poorest of the Marvel canon. Unfortunately, this movie is at the “Hulk” end of the spectrum. Which is a real shame. The duo of the 51 year old Smith and the 35 year old Winstead work really well together. They have great chemistry, but, you’ll be relieved to hear, avoid any icky love interest.
What a shame. With a different script, and some good production values, this could have been a very different story.
Now…. having said all that, I have a sneaking feeling that this is just the sort of film that the comedy video blog duo Mark and Dave would love…. saying “AMAZING! BRILLIANT! YOU’RE TALKING STUPID DR BOB! IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN DERRY GIRLS!!”. After viciously mauling me 🙂 over my review of “Dark Phoenix” (sorry guys… my review stands… IT’S A TURKEY!) then I feel this is a ‘gauntlet down’ moment … let’s see your review of this one then!
Trailer:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbyJignbSj0. (See the trailer and you hardly need to see the film!).
It was light hearted nonsense. Could have found lots of fault but hey I enjoyed it. 3 Stars from me.
Your being quite generous I think!
Now Bob, we’re not going to take the bait and like what does appear to be a bad movie! We’ll review in a few months after I watch it on a plane flying off to foreign shores!
Fair enough! Not worth your movie dollar, for sure.