A One Mann’s Movies review of “Moonfall” (2022).
There are some films that I have big issues in assigning a rating to… because they are so bad that they end up being good. “Into the Storm” was a memorably hoot-worthy example. Roland Emmerich’s “Moonfall” is undoubtedly another.
I saw this as a #Cineworld Unlimited preview, with “Moonfall” getting a UK release on February 4th.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Pseudo-scientist KC Houseman (John Bradley) discovers that the moon is out of orbit and putting mankind at risk. But dismissed as a conspiracy nerd – he also claims that the moon is a hollow alien artefact – he requests the help of disgraced astronaut Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) to convince the authorities. But NASA’s Jocinda Fowl (Halle Berry) is already on the case and a daring mission is planned to try to resolve the issue.
Certification:
Talent:
Starring: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Michael Pena, Donald Sutherland.
Directed by: Roland Emmerich.
Written by: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser and Spenser Cohen.
“Moonfall” Review:
Positives:
- Its terrible negatives are the movie’s greatest asset. It’s popcorn nonsense that is just so bad its hilariously good. Not a cliché of the disaster movies of the 70’s and 80’s is left unmined here, from trigger-happy generals with nukes to the random multi-cultural ‘friends and relatives’ trying to survive against all the odds on the ground. We even throw in a trope of the 21st century: the need to include some Chinese content to support the movie’s success in that market. In here, we get not one of these (a heroic au-pair of Chinese descent) but also technological support (a Chinese space vehicle). You can’t help but leave the theatre with a bit of a grin on your face.
- John Bradley was a new face to me. The Lancastrian actor was actually very funny and personable (as I saw he was in real life this morning during a #BBCBreakfast interview). The supporting acts, from Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry, were also strong despite the material they had to work with. (Does Halle Berry have the same mirror in her attic as Penélope Cruz? She looks fantastic.) It’s always great to see Donald Sutherland in a movie. Here he reprises his wild-haired government cover-up guy in a nice cameo.
- RIDICULOUS as it was, there were still some scenes that had me tense with excitement. A shuttle launch scene as a giant wave approached was one that worked for me.
Negatives:
- Some of the dialogue is laugh-out-loud awful. (“Are we dead?” “No, we’re just inside the moon“. “That might be the greatest sentence anyone’s ever said“.) The illustrious Mrs Movie Man was constantly giggling, reminded of the rooftop scene in “Notting Hill” where Julia Roberts is trying to learn her lines for a terrible action movie (“I promised little Jimmy I’d be home for his birthday“).
- The bad lines are matched with ridiculous situations. For example, Brian’s son (Charlie Plummer) parks up and watches while a tsunami bears down on him. And a scene in a nuclear bunker is beyond ludicrous!
- As for “2012” and “The Day After Tomorrow”, Roland Emmerich goes to town on his city-destroying special effects. But there seems to be something particularly artificial this time about the tidal surge sweeping through the city. I think the timing of the playback is a bit off (not slow enough). I don’t know about you, but I’m still not sufficiently over 9/11 to enjoy seeing New York being ripped apart (again).
Summary Thoughts on “Moonfall”
“Moonfall” is the definitive ‘park your brain at the door’ film. It actually has some good acting from Bradley, Wilson and (particularly) Halle Berry. But the lines they have to say, and the ridiculous context they have to say them in, makes their po-faced acting all the more hilarious. It is Dr Rumack from “Airplane” all over again.
“I can’t see shit” says astronaut Brian Harper at one point. Nearly right Brian. But I think the line is “I can’t un-see shit”. But neither would I want to. This is popcorn fare that will live in the memory for a long time, but probably not for the reasons that Mr Emmerich would like.
But will it be a big success at the box office? You betcha.
Trailer for “Moonfall”
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivIwdQBlS10 .
