A One Mann’s Movies review of “Fast X” (2023).
I’ve not been a long-term fan of the Fast and the Furious series, and still haven’t watched the majority of them. But, by now, regular readers will know that I tend to take a dim view of movies that stretch the bounds of credibility beyond breaking point. (The most recent culprit in my eyes for this was “Sisu“). Looking back at my reviews of “Fast and Furious 8” and “F9”, I was not kind with my rating due to the absurdity of the cartoon-like, CGI-heavy ‘stunts’ in those films. And Hobbs and Shaw I found little better. So, it came as a surprise that with “Fast X”, I had a really fun time in the cinema. Perhaps it really was a case of learning to park my brain at the door this time. Or perhaps this was just a better – less excessive – outing in the series.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Ten years ago, Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) – in the film “Fast Five” – relieved Brazilian drug-lord Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida) of his family’s wealth by towing his bank vault out of the building. Reyes was killed in the ensuing chase. Now, in the present day, his son – the flamboyant and sociopathic Dante Rayes (Jason Mamoa) – is out for revenge…. not just against Dom, but also his real and his extended ‘family’.
Certification:
UK: 12; US: PG-13. (From the BBFC: “Moderate violence, threat, brief grisly images, infrequent strong language”).
Talent:
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jason Statham, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges, Nathalie Emmanuel, Charlize Theron, John Cena, Sung Kang, Helen Mirren, Brie Larson, Scott Eastwood, Jason Momoa, Daniela Melchior, Leo Abelo Perry, Joaquim de Almeida, Paul Walker, Rita Moreno.
Directed by: Louis Leterrier.
Written by: Dan Mazeau & Justin Lin. (From characters created by Gary Scott Thompson).
Twitter Handle: #Fast10, #FastX.
Bombing run. The fire effects here look pretty real (and might be practical). The dodgy VFX fire comes later! (Source: Universal Pictures).
“Fast X” Review:
Positives:
- Absurd as they may be, you have to acknowledge the chutzpah of the team that came up with some of these action sequences. Dom should have been killed a dozen times! Who reverses their car off the loading-ramp of an aircraft or drives down the near vertical face of a dam and expects to survive?!
- Jason Mamoa makes a fabulous addition to the cast as the unhinged bad-guy. He seems to be having the time of his life playing the role, bringing a camp energy to it that makes every line he says zing off the screen.
- The rest of the cast – and it is an ENORMOUS cast (I’ve not even listed some ‘special additions’ in my list above as they would be spoilers) – also seem to be having a good time. It FEELS like being on set was one big party for these folks. “In them having fun, we’re having fun” as my podcast colleague Scott Forbes aptly put it this week’s “Flickering Dreams”.
- The script throws in some genuinely random stuff. At one point, Dante is painting the toe-nails of two dead dudes, propped up in deck chairs with fixated (quite distubing!) expressions. Who were these guys? Were we supposed to know?
- The film ends on a suitable cliffhanger, ready for the “Baker’s Dozen” sequel. Looks like certain death for a whole bunch of our heroes…. but then this is the Fast and Furious universe!
Negatives:
- The plot makes little sense at all. Where has Dante been for the last 10 years??! And why doesn’t he pop off all the ‘family’ he comes into contact with when he has the chance? (e.g. from a helicopter with a friggin’ big machine gun!). The story – if you can call it that – is just a meaningless framework on which to hang the ludicrous action set-pieces.
- The sound design of the film is dreadful. The mix of the music, talk-track and sound effects manages to make a lot of the dialogue barely comprehensible. This is on top of the challenge of trying to understand Vin Diesel, whose sub-woofer-pitched delivery is hard to catch at the best of times. He might as well have been using his famous Guardian’s line “I am Groot” for a lot of this film!
- The film cost $340 million to make. (Just think about that for a minute… that is considerably more than the Gross National Product of the Marshall Islands!) Given that enormous budget, some of the special effects in here were really shoddy. Particularly heinous I thought were some of the pyro effects. There’s a scene of a burning bomb rolling through Rome. And the CGI fire on the bomb looks like it was done by a high-school student with an out-of-service version of After-Effects. All I can assume is that after they had paid the enormous cast salary, there wasn’t enough cash for anything better!
- At 2 hours and 20 minutes, it outstayed its welcome for me by about 20 minutes. (But that’s a common complaint).
Monkeys?
There is a mid-credit “monkey” bringing in YET ANOTHER big name actor into this film. You can only guess what they got paid for their 3 seconds of screen time!
Summary Thoughts on “Fast X”
I’m sure I read somewhere that they were thinking of calling this film “Fast Ten…. Your Seatbelts” which would have been a much funnier and cleverer title. Hey Ho! Their loss!
I really expected not to like this, but against all the odds I did. Perhaps I was just in the right mood for it this time? Yes, it is nonsense and utterly ludicrous! But if you go into it with your benchmark set to that, then – like me – you may have an equally fun time. A really solid summer popcorn flick. But go see it on the big screen! On the small screen, it will not have the same impact.
I understand that there is going to be a Fast XI and a Fast XII and then that’s it. Fast fans might disagree, but I think that will be more than enough to milk this cash cow dry.
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Trailer for “Fast X”
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoOaKN4qCKw .
