A One Mann’s Movies review of “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” (2022).
It says something for the yawn-worthiness, for me, of the Fantastic Beasts Potter prequels that this film has been out over two weeks before I could be arsed to see it. Would “The Secrets of Dumbledore” rise above the very low-bar set by “The Crimes of Gindelwald“. Thankfully, that’s a limited “yes”.
Bob the Movie Man Rating:
Plot Summary:
Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) and Gellert Grindelwald (now Mads Mikkelsen, replacing Johnny Depp, currently on the naughty step) are on opposing sides in the battle to save the muggle world. But neither is allowed to directly act against the other. Grindelwald’s latest scheme is to gain a pardon from the international Ministry of Magic and then run for high office to deliver on his evil manifesto. Albus gathers a small and trusted team together, led by Magizoologist Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) to thwart the plans.
Certification:
Talent:
Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Jude Law, Ezra Miller, Dan Fogler, Mads Mikkelsen, Katherine Waterston, Callum Turner, Jessica Williams, Richard Coyle.
Directed by: David Yates.
Written by: J.K. Rowling and Steve Kloves.
Twitter Handles: #FantasticBeasts #SecretsOfDumbledore.
“Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” Review:
Positives:
- At least here there is some discernable story (unlike the last film: you could threaten me with a red hot poker and I wouldn’t be able to tell you what happened in that one). True that the subject matter – international elections – is about as thrilling as the “taxation of trade routes” premise in “The Phantom Menace”. But the story does at least have a start, a middle and an end that kind of makes sense (if you squint REALLY REALLY HARD). And the final reel of the film is really quite engaging (although it doesn’t know when to quit).
- The acting luminaries of Jude Law, Eddie Redmayne and Mads Mikkelsen give the plot their all with Law and Mikkelsen being particularly impressive. The excellent Callum Turner (so good in “The Last Letter From Your Lover” and soon to appear in the George Clooney-directed film “The Boys in the Boat”) reprises his role from the last film as Newt’s brother Theseus. But getting a huge leg up in terms of air-time and really striking a dynamic and positive impression is Jessica Williams as the witch Eulalie Hicks. She gets my ‘actor of the match’ award for the film.
- Interestingly, Tina (Katherine Waterston) gets only a cameo in this film: it’s been postulated that this might be due to her comments about J.K. Rowling’s transphobia row.
- The mythical creatures the qilin (pronounced like “chillin’”) are very cute. (A warning that young kids might be very upset by one scene involving them.) Although, as Monty Python might say, their use doesn’t strike you as a strong “basis for a system of government”! (I’ve suddenly got a stark image of a qilin standing in front of Boris Johnson!)
Negatives:
- Man, the first hour is painful. It’s like some random script generator throwing out scene after scene that make little or no sense to the uninitiated. (And, no, I couldn’t face re-watching “The Crimes of Grindelwald” ahead of going to see this one). It’s peppered with locations and ‘young versions’ of well-loved Potter characters that feel more like Rowling dropping catnip to the hardcore fans, rather than a logical progression of the story. (And, no, this is not a dig at Rowling. I think anyone has the right to give their opinions they see fit, within the law, without being “cancelled”).
- Some of the characters lack depth. For example, Ezra Miller plays Grindelwald’s right-hand man, looking all the world like a Severus Snape tribute act. (I was half expecting there to be a Snape-related twist, and who knows there might still be). But exactly what his malady is and how it relates to the Phoenix (nod nod, wink wink) that hovers around him is far from clear.
- Although the special effects are pretty much up to scratch (as you would expect), there was one practical effect that made me snort with laughter. The severed arm of a huge scorpion-like creature crawls away into a lake looking like one of those snake-draught-excluder things animated by Gerry Anderson-style strings!
Monkeys?
There are no ‘monkeys‘ in the credits, so if you are not interested in listening to James Newton-Howard’s pleasant music (and a nice song by Gregory Porter) then you can leave when they start.
Summary Thoughts on “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore”:
I believe there were intended to be five movies in the Fantastic Beasts series, although Warner Brothers are no doubt going to judge green-lighting the 4th film based on how this one does. (At the time of writing, it’s made north of $200 million at the box office so far, which seems respectable if not stellar). To be honest, I could take or leave this one, and any subsequent ones.
You have to wonder if at some point they will wait for Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint to get a bit older and then cut their losses on this series, “do a Star Wars”, and jump ahead to focus on the Potter kids.
Summary: recommended for die-hard Potterheads only.
Trailer for “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore”
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaM_wL1ZOM4 .
