A One Mann’s Movies review of “Crawl” (2019).
As a bit of summer fun, “Crawl” is a real B-movie… but with a decent premise at its heart.
Bob the Movie Man’s Rating:
Certification:
US: R; UK: 15.
Who came up with that title?
It’s been out for a few weeks before I got to see it last night. But for that whole period I have been cheerfully mis-calling it “Chomp!”. This is a far more satisfactory title. Ladybirds crawl! Beetles crawl! Alligators chomp!
For this is a tale of those creepy, ice-cold reptiles. Haley (Kaya Scodelario) – usefully a leading college-swimmer – is called by her older sister Beth (Morfydd Clark) concerned that she’s been unable to reach her Dad (Barry Pepper). He lives in the Florida Everglades and a category 5 hurricane is moving in. Haley goes against the tide of evacuees to reach her old family home looking for her Dad and his dog (mangy cute canine alert)…. but finds more than just him there!
With nature advancing in multiple forms, will the father, daughter and dog all weather the storm?
True…. very true! (Source: Paramount Pictures).
A great concept for a summer popcorn hit.
There’s a nice idea at the heart of this film. In the same way that sharks creep a lot of people out with their unblinking cold eyes – making “Jaws” such a hit – so lots of people – me included – get freaked out by alligators. If you’ve been to the Everglades, as I have, there is something totally unnerving about the size and (normal) stillness of these monsters from a prehistoric age. A “Jaws with ‘gators” had the potential to be a fun summer hit.
It’s also a good move for the scriptwriters (Michael and Shawn Rasmussen) to put the action in the heart of a hurricane. How else could you strand two people in the middle of a civilised area? (You imagine the writers going through the same mental exercise as the army geeks in “Close Encounters”).
Once we get into the basement of the house, things get pleasantly claustrophobic, keeping (at least initially) the tension high.
Haley (Kaya Scodelario) and Dave (Barry Pepper), one chomp in. “We need to get you to a hospital, NOW!”. Not so fast! He’s got another three limbs to chew on yet! (Source: Paramount Pictures).
The most inconsistent Cat 5 in meteorological history.
I’ve heard people tell of riding out a big storm at home: that they can’t hear each other speak, and that’s within the four walls of the house. Here (in an obviously studio-dressed set) the storm barely registers for 60% of the running time: there are moments when you could hear a pin drop! And although the “fan machine rental” store next to the studio lot must have been empty, even in the external scenes I’ve seen stronger winds on Bournemouth sea front.
Blown sideways… NOT! But will the dog be OK? Staying VERY still so they can’t get you (obvs). (Source: Paramount Pictures).
What exactly is the deal with these gators?
WIth the T-rex in “Jurassic Park”, the deal was pretty clearly spelled out and stuck to: they could only see movement, so stay still and you’d be OK. In this flick, the rules of engagement are far from clear. There is a speech by Dave about them being able to see you, even in the dark… but I was never clear whether they could see you, still or otherwise, and whether they responded to noise or not. And the rules seem to be flexible throughout the film: at one point the duo stay stock still as ‘gators swim right past them; in others they stay still (and OUT of the water) yet the gators suddenly launch up at them. Make your mind up!
Peep-bo. Escape is just a pipe dream for Haley. (Source: Paramount Pictures).
Execrable dialogue.
Unfortunately, while the story has potential, the dialogue is truly awful. You know you’re in trouble when the lead actress is explaining the backstory aloud to a dog! “Jaws” has a brilliant and personal back-story of a misunderstood sheriff battling the greed of local businessmen against common-sense. Here, the writers clearly feel the need to add some family-based angst into the story, but the lines between Haley and dad Dave are SHOCKINGLY bad. And they are spouted at the most inappropriate points in the action! It’s actually laughable, and not in a good way. At times I literally had my head in my hands.
The players.
As a B-movie with a limited budget, the cast is small and made up largely of unknowns. Barry Pepper (sniper Private Jackson in “Saving Private Ryan”) is the best-known name of the cast. Unfortunately, having to emote the lines he’s contracted to say in this movie doesn’t help his CV.
Kaya Scodelario – who was in the “Maze Runner” films and was the love interest in the last “Pirates of the Caribbean” flick – suffers the same fate but fares slightly better. She strikes a good action heroine pose, and is one of the better things in the film.
An interesting shower buddy! (Source: Paramount Pictures).
Blessedly short.
Directed by Alexandre Aja (“Piranha 3D”) this is a sub-90 minute film that at least doesn’t outstay its welcome. It’s been a decent summer hit for the studios (at the time of writing it has made $75 million on a meagre $13 budget).
It’s certainly not for the faint-hearted in its gore. It delivers a lot of chomping, with the action getting progressively more ludicrous, reminiscent of the “flesh-wound” scene in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”!. Some jump scares work well. But I can’ t say its a great film, because it’s really not. In the hands of a Spielberg, this might have really had legs (…to chomp on, LoL). It’s CERTAINLY no “Jaws”. It’s not even a “Deep Blue Sea”. But it’s mildly entertaining nonetheless.
Trailer:
The trailer is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6MLJG0RdDE.
I thought that the title ‘Crawl’ was referring to the crawlspace under the house, where most of the movie is set. I might be wrong though!
Ah!! Good spot… You might be right Lee! I didn’t think of that since (I think) that’s more of an Americanism than a UK phrase.