So how about the festive foul?

Here I reviewed my ‘Best Of’ 2015.  But how about the turkeys?

I guess I should caveat this by saying that although I have an ‘Unlimited’ cinema card, I am sufficiently time-strapped with ‘the day job’ that I don’t get to see every movie at the cinema.  As such, I tend to pre-filter the real dross (though I’m sure “The Fantastic Four” was absolutely lovely!) so my list is composed only of the films I saw.  As such, you might view this as my list of the ‘biggest disappointments’ of 2015.

My top 5 (or rather bottom 5) in reverse order of direness are as follows.  (For each film I have also picked my favourite picture/comedy caption combination!). 

#5 – The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Flu jabs had suddenly become unexpectedly popular with men at the local clinic

This might divide opinion, but I found this a tired and flabby reboot of a 60’s TV classic, and one of the summer’s great disappointments. The lovely Alicia Vikander is used as little more than a clothes horse, and the dynamic duo of Arnie Hammer and Henry Cavill lack any form of on-screen chemistry.

#4 – Taken 3

I will hunt it, I will find it and I will wash the damned contact lens

Liam Neeson sleepwalks through a daft and utterly predictable action film.  Featuring one of the most implausible escapes from an exploding car in cinema history.

#3 – Focus

focus 4
Beauty: natural; Make-up: Tania McComas; Hair stylist: Cameron Diaz!

Two directors; half the satisfaction.  A sour and grumpy Will Smith and the lovely Margot Robbie being generally unpleasant to ordinary people.  And with the one genuinely intriguing classy section of the film spoiled by the trailer.  Pointless.

#2 – San Andreas

The city’s glaziers hadn’t had so much business since Iron Man and Hulk were last in town.

Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson does what every emergency response worker should do when disaster strikes:  he ignores his job responsibilities and goes to look for family needles in a haystack (and of course finds them).  Dodgy effects. Even dodgier 3D. Dire plot. Very few redeeming features.

#1 – Pitch Perfect 2

Beca had been assured that the toothbrush would be CGI’d in after the ad filming was finished.

Despite being a fan of the original cheese-fest, Elizabeth Bank’s movie dredged the depths of mediocrity and bad taste replacing all that was fun and fanciful in the original movie with lameness:  a collection of ‘Side B’ songs; rampant xenophobia from the contest commentators and Rebel Wilson’s shtick getting progressively more irritating.

Pitch Perfect 3?  Please no.